Sunday, April 25, 2010


So April 27th approaches, which means...

Ha! Found a Birthday Glitter Graphic with my name on it.

A lot of people don't know this about me, but I kind of hate my birthday. I get really depressed whenever it comes nearer. I think it must be the little girl in me who never got to have the whole birthday shebang for a really long time when money was tight during her childhood. 10 years later...well, things haven't changed. I don't really have birthday parties, nor do I expect gifts or even a "happy birthday"--I guess I now just consider it selfish to be concerned with having "my big day" when we're (my family) having financial troubles. But there must be leftover anticipation because I was in the middle of an Anthropology study fest (test coming up) this morning and just up and started sobbing all over my notes. I have absolutely no clue why it happened, but Marmie was very unhappy seeing me distraught. I took a break to try and cheer myself up, and was browsing through Dreamy Pretty Things on Tumblr when I came across this picture:
I eat strawberries when they're dipped in a bit of sugar like the ones on this cake. Strawberry is my favorite flavor of everything--cake, ice cream, flavored water, alcohol, everything. Marmie looked over my shoulder and said, "You know, we could make that." I smiled and told her that was sweet, but we didn't have the ingredients. Then she pulled out strawberry cake mix and cream cheese icing and replied, "I thought we'd have tea with it too."
Oh my god. I love my mother so, so much. I haven't had a birthday cake of my own in over five years. Call it the benefit of finishing my classes from home this semester, but to just have a home-cooked dinner and a home-baked cake means the world to me. Here's our strawberry birthday cake (it's heart-shaped, too):

There's a tiny pink candle in the very center. No way I'm flambeing myself trying to jam twenty-two candles on a cake. XD
Here's the whole spread--I took out my sweet-themed china I had gotten about three years ago and it matched quite well:

We put the whole set out even though it was only the two of us.
I haven't worn lolita or anything else very fancy lately since I've been mainly stuck in the house either doing schoolwork or workout tapes and neither inspires me to gussy myself up, but I did put together a little birthday outfit. I don't have a good mirror and mother is not--though I love her--even a satisfactory photographer, so the only shot I have of it is me squatting on my bed to get a shot in my vanity mirror:

The skirt and petticoat are bodyline, pink tights from Leg Avenue and top is offbrand vintage. The woman in the painting behind me is my Grand-Aunt Cora (from the turn of the century)! I feel kind of bad with my bloomers partly flashing her likeness :-(
I certainly was pleasantly surprised today. Have to get back to that test prep, but am certainly feeling a lot better now. It was a really fabulous surprise.
Tata, beatrix

2 comments/comment?:

Mariko said...

Happy Birthday! I'm glad you go to have your cake, and dress up. I understand the feeling, when money is tight, and you feel like it's selfish to want a big thing for your birthday. It's not selfish to want a little something to celebrate. I'm glad you had a happy birthday!

beata-beatrixx said...

@Mariko: thanks :-) I left my mom a big thank you note this morning. I actually had kind of dreamed of strawberry cake for awhile, and baking with my mom was a very nice gift. Hope your bday was also awesome (you're an Aries, so I figured it was recently).